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"But...You Just Don't Understand..."
"But...You Just Don't Understand..."
Consider the expression: “You just don’t understand...” for a moment.
- Have you ever spoken it to anyone?
- What were the conditions surrounding the statement?
- What was the situation you were facing at the time when you told someone that he or she did not understand?
Often this expression is spoken during a crisis-like situation.
The person making the comment is generally feeling trapped, believing that the person he or she is speaking to does not understand the situation. In all sincerity, the situation is probably not a pleasant one -- you were faced with demands, pressures, the need to make decisions, etc. Although it may be true that the person did not understand what you were facing, what was taking place within you was the belief that the person could not help you. If so, a door closed preventing you from getting the help or the information that you needed.
The expression often involves an emotional component as well. There may be levels of panic, stress, fear, hopelessness, and helplessness, no matter how low those emotional levels may be. Other emotions such as feeling isolated, separated from others, often surface because the expression alludes to the feelings that others cannot help and the situation is on you and no one else.
If you take a moment to consider when you may have believed (the lie!) that a person did not understand the situation that you were facing at the time, you may realize that your emotions were running amok because of pressure or stress as a result of the demands from the situation. Even your thoughts were co-signing the emotions (or vice versa) and both were running you into a brick wall believing that no one was there for you.
- Think about this and think about how productive these thoughts and emotions were.
- Think about how the expression caused positive results to take place.
The prescription to take for this ailment is to consider why you thought this in the first place. Now that this blog has opened the door that was closed during the situation, look to see what thoughts and emotions contributed to the action of speaking those words. (If you thought I would not need your cooperation during surgery, you thought wrong! You must participate -- the more you cooperate, the less painful it will be! Smiles...)
First, you were assuming (accusing them) they did not understand.
Second, you were assuming (accusing them) that they could not help you.
Third, you were assuming (accusing yourself) that you did not need the person.
Fourth, you were assuming (accusing yourself) that you got the answer.
Fifth, you were assuming (accusing yourself) that you knew what to do.
This list of 5 points should be enough to hold your attention for quite some time! You did real well with that "ouch" moment!
Basically, the statement “but...you just don’t understand” is a lie. It is a ‘false’ defense behavior that paralyzes the brain from thinking critically, and demobilizes the emotions from receiving support and encouragement from that person -- all of which you needed at that moment and in that situation.
In other words, it is spoken to defend you against seeking and receiving the very help that you need! It is an offspring of the spirit of pride. And if this ‘false’ defense has its way, it will keep you from getting exactly what you desire to have at that time and in that situation.
Stay alert against this way of thinking and stay vigilant against emotions that make you feel that you are not being heard or understood. Although these originate within each of us, they are lies that you need to be aware of and you need to fight against. Daily take your temperature about this mindset so that you can recognize it when it wants to rise up again!
The person who you believe does not understand in all sincerely they do understand. The ‘false’ defense is preventing you, and only you, from keeping a door open to possibilities, options, alternatives, etc. Your daily pill will be to reverse the thought, “you don’t understand” to think and say “yes they do understand”. Anger, frustration, stress and even blame are often underlining characteristics that accompany this thought. Within time, you will be able to recognize that others do understand the situation you are facing. This is the key that will open the door to you getting the information and the help that you need. It is also the key that will grant you access to developing better interpersonal skills, problem-solving skills, and critical thinking skills.
Last, from a spiritual perspective.....THIS STATEMENT IS A LIE! There is always someone else who has experienced the same thing you are experiencing. And...There is a God who understands and has sent His Word and has sent His Son and has sent His Holy Spirit to help you through whatever situation you may be facing.
If the content of this topic was of interest to you, soon you will be able to access full personal lessons. Go to 'www.awakeningacademy.org", click on the "aaseven" link in the menu, then go to the "Personal Principles" section. The first lesson is titled "What is Driving you?".
If you want to receive information on our upcoming lessons, please email the Spiritual Surgeon at: [email protected]
The Spiritual Surgeon
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