The Birth of Mutual Re​spect

November 2021

If you took the time to really think about the concept of 'respect', it may be difficult to define what it should be. Respect, like common sense, does not seem to be the term that is recognized these days, and does not seem to be an important topic that is worthy of striving towards. Although it may not seem to be well recognized and desired, developing respect is necessary for discussion and for application.

•  first question to you...is respect something that you desire?
•  second question to you...is respect something that you strive to give to others?
•  third question to you...do you intentionally work hard at displaying respect towards others?

Readers, please do not tell a lie when answering these questions! Smiles... no one will know your answer to the questions. You are the only one who will know your response and the only one who will 'judge' based on your responses! (so relax, allow yourself to smile as you continue reading this blog.)

Let us look at the birth of respect. It does begin in childhood, and it does involve the way parents support respect or how well they encourage respectful relationships between everyone in the family. For now, however, we are not going to focus on the parenting role (one reason is because most adults who are still alive no matter their age, was never given a lesson on the development of respect), so you will have to focus not on the past, but on today and the future, your future.

If you happen to be a parent, especially a parent to more than one child, this blog will help you make the decision to shift on what you may be doing with your children and even implement a new rule within the family. The task is extremely simple: ask a question.... ASK... That three-letter word has much power. If family members are simply taking things that are not theirs, and not developing the habit of "asking", then not-so-pleasant results could occur. Asking to 'borrow' or 'have' or 'do', etc. leads to the development of respect.

A sister wanting to borrow another sister's sweater needs to ask permission and she has the right to say 'yes' or 'no' because that sweater belongs to her. A brother wanting to borrow another brother's basketball needs to ask -- that basketball belongs to him. You (um...um) wanting to borrow something of your child's needs to ask because this message has nothing to do with age or seniority! This is an equal opportunity message, and no one is excluded from the rule. If you are a parent, you may be shaking your head as if being a parent gives you special permission to do what you want. You can, you are an adult, but make a quick assessment of your family to determine how much respect is living in your household.

This will put you in the position of being less directly involved in matters that actually do not concern you. Borrowing a sweater or a basketball is between the children only. This also avoids you saying 'yes' to the youngest child despite the other child's feeling, and it also puts brakes on your leaning more favorably to your 'favorite' child. You can have a say, but you should not make the decision. That child, whether the youngest or oldest is encouraged to have the last say in what is his or hers. If that child has stingy tendencies, simply remind him or her that they may want to borrow something from someone one day. Playing that type of a role is real parenting!

Admitting that things are not in order in your household is difficult to acknowledge. Making changes to improve the relationships in your family is not easy. But you should be willing to put this in practice...the sooner the better. The birthing of respect does not happen overnight, but the more you allow your family to practice this, the sooner respect will make itself at home in your family.

The Spiritual Surgeon

Disclaimer:

The information located on “From the Desk of...” was prepared by the creator and author of the web page and the owner of Awakening Academy & Learning Center. The blogs are based on personal opinions, thoughts and experiences, and are not a reflection of any third party’s views or opinions. The purpose of “From the Desk of...” is to share and, hopefully, educate. It should not be considered as a directive or an order.